Shift Change

There is nothing quite as maddening as being a Cassandra in a room filled with optimists. Especially if you let yourself be convinced.

This afternoon went well enough, but we were not really on the best of terms with our assigned nurse. Perhaps that was due to my telling her, frankly, that my wife and I "look tired" because we are worried about the wee man's dining habits, and that using the former as an excuse for not telling us about the upgrade to the latter was a bit counterproductive.

She solved that miscommunication by trying not to communicate anything at all from there on out. We got to participate in two good feedings with S starting the show and a bottle of expressed milk to follow. By the second feeding, S was starting to worry that the reliance on breast feeding was going to make hash out of their carefully calibrated balance between the ingested food and the glucose IV. The nurse assured us that the glucose readings were all that was necessary to maintain an even keel. Then she disappeared until we were ready to leave the NICU.

Fast forward to shift change, when the night nurse informed us that they were only going to let us feed Griffin by bottle, and we were to try for exactly 15 ml of expressed milk. His glucose readings, which had been holding steady at 60 plus or minus, at 8:30 PM dropped down to a 51. Then, three hours later, they measured in at 114. Hash, anyone?

Small Miracles

Thank goodness for them, right? We just returned from feeding our small peanut -- that's right, campers. Griffin is eating again, and his appetite has increased greatly since we first started. S got a chance to nurse him directly, and that made all these past three days just melt away.

After a solid ten minutes of that, it was time for me to try and get him to eat some from a bottle (no formula, thankfully -- S has been busy), but his complete pass-outedness was a bit of a hindrance. Still, I managed to squeeze in another 10 ml of mother's milk before calling the game on account of sleep.

Of course, nothing is without controversy. This was his third feeding today, and yet this was only the first one we were invited to attend. S about lost it again when they told her that "she looked a bit tired," and didn't want to bother her with the one thing she has been aching to do since we got here.

Sometimes I am surprised at the incredulity we face in the staff here. Don't get me wrong; they are all dedicated and talented professionals. I just wish they would assume the same level of dedication from us, the parents.